Yesterday was such a happy day; one of the happiest I’ve ever experienced. I remember how I felt when I opened my email almost 10 years ago to find that I had been accepted to the University of California, Berkeley, and yesterday I once again opened my email to find that I had been accepted as a PhD candidate of Clinical Psychology at Stanford’s sister school Palo Alto University. It’s a funny feeling when dreams become reality, and as long as I’ve joked about becoming “Dr. Pepper”, I now have the opportunity to achieve that dream (with a fair amount of hard work!). You would be so proud of me, and my happiness was mixed with sadness because I wasn’t able to share this news with you. I remember you once told me that you didn’t care what I did with my life as long as I did “it” well, and with a 3.8 graduate GPA and an invitation to continue my studies at the doctoral level, I hope I followed your instructions to the best of my ability, and I know you would be proud of me. I carry your spirit with me through every step of this journey, which is, I’m sure, why I have experienced such success thus far.
I wish I was this happy and excited about my remaining time in Israel, but, like with any major transitional time in life, I’m having a whirlwind of mixed emotions. In just a few days I will be leaving a building that I have called my home for the last 4 years to spend my remaining months in the center of Tel Aviv’s chaos, and it makes me terribly sad. However, at the same time it will put distance between me and people who have all but ruined this place for me (but that is a story for another time). It’s hard to leave a place that is filled with so many memories, even if some of the memories aren’t good. I met Stephane in this building…I lived for two years in this building with a roommate who is more like my family than my friend…I rescued and raised Jasper in this building. I am very sad to leave it, but keeping my mind open to new places and new memories.
I’m ready to make Israel mine again, but find my mind constantly wandering to other places. To California with my family, to Palo Alto with my university, to France, and Italy, and Greece where I hope to travel before starting my PhD… My wandering mind has returned yet I’m trying to come back to normal life in Israel, stuck in an office 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. It is proving to be a troubling task that has all but forced me to reduce my schedule simply to ensure that the quality of my work doesn’t decline. But in reality my mind is not here anymore. It hasn’t been for a while, but I’m committed to making the most out of my last months here, and will do my best to remain in the present and not let my mind wander too much to the future. I hope that the high holidays will bring me time to reflect and get back on track.
Other than that I’m just enjoying my last remaining week in the only real place I’ve called home since moving to Israel, and trying to stay in a positive space :-). I move to the center of Tel Aviv September 1st and am sure I will have some exciting updates about the move when it happens!
I miss you every second of every day, friend, and love you forever and always.
Until we meet again <3,