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11/13/13: A Time To Mourn

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“You don’t know what you have until it is gone”… A saying that haunts and plagues each and every one of us who has ever lost anyone or anything of value or importance. Of course there are varying degrees of loss, but nonetheless, anyone who has suffered a loss of any kind will understand just how painstakingly true the above statement is. I never allowed myself to mourn the loss of my company. A part of me still refuses to believe that that particular chapter of my life is actually over. It all happened so fast; there was no warning making it almost impossible to register the grave reality of the situation. One day I went from a department manager, managing a team of phenomenal people, making a wonderful salary, to an unemployed job seeker back on the market looking for another company to call home.

I don’t miss my job…The responsibilities of my job were wonderful, but it was so much more than just the “job” that made working at BCC so special. By the grace of God I found a company where I loved what I did, but, more importantly, loved every person that I had the profound privilege of working with and for. As I am embarking on my present job hunt I’m finding it extremely difficult to get excited about new possibilities because I can’t imagine any place living up to the environment that I had at BCC. I know that this outlook isn’t fair, for me or for the companies that I interview with, but it will take time for the feeling of loss to subside.

I don’t hate the owners… I’m not even sure I’m really mad at them. That would be too easy, and, despite everything, they really were always so wonderful to all of their employees. I’m sorry that they made poor choices and, as a result of their choices, lost a thriving business, and workers who would have stayed with them through thick and thin. Their actions and choices broke up a family, and I’m not sure that they were even truly aware of the immeasurable talent and loyalty that they had from their employees. It’s hard to imagine that they would be comfortable closing their company if they really knew that to most of us BCC was more like a home than a place of work.

I don’t have family in Israel. While I have been blessed beyond measure in the fact that I found a wonderful man who happens to have quite a bit of family in the area, the reality is that they are not “mine”. Because of this my co workers, people I spent almost every day of the week with for almost a year, became my family. My work was “mine”, the people I worked with were “mine”, and I found a place that made being alone in a foreign country both bearable and fun. I don’t think I’m the only one still trying to hold on to a piece of this wonderful chapter. Despite the fact that the company closed, we all still constantly keep in contact with one another and try to meet as often as possible. We keep up on each other’s lives, job searches, situations, and I think most of us are still holding on to some modicum of hope that, one day soon, our company will reopen and invite us back with open arms. It probably won’t happen but there is always the possibility.

Tonight a few of us decided to meet at a Mexican restaurant in Tel Aviv and it was so wonderful to be back with the members of my department. The people who couldn’t join were very missed, but those who were there made the night one of the most enjoyable I’ve had in the past few weeks. I have been hitting the job search hard, as well, but it is so hard to sell yourself with a 1.5 page resume, and though I speak Hebrew well, the reality is that it is not my mother tongue which limits my options. I know that in time something great will come along, and luckily I have saved enough money to give myself time to find the right fit when it comes to work, but it is daunting and draining trying to find something that will be even remotely comparable to what I had. I have faith that something out there will come my way, and I can only hope it comes quickly. It’s a tough game but I’m not letting it dampen my spirit or passion for continuing this amazing journey I started for myself. I have the support of a wonderful family, who, though far away, are always around to lend a shoulder or an ear, a boyfriend who would do anything for me, and fantastic friends, and for that reason alone I have so much to be thankful for. The man upstairs has always been there for me in the past, and I know he will continue to be in the future, so now I’m just doing whatever I can, excited to discover the next adventure he has planned for me. My dad would most likely say “welcome to adult hood”, and he isn’t wrong. Life is full of forks and swerves and challenges, and I still hold firm to my belief that everything happens for a reason, and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You need challenges and adversity to appreciate the good, so I’m taking this as a test to further instill the value of appreciation and thankfulness within me.

I want to thank BCC, and everyone associated with this special company, for making the last 11 months of my life truly wonderful. It is a company that will be very missed, but through this loss I hope that other great Israeli companies will benefit from people who truly exemplify hard, committed, talented, and loyal workers.

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