Life is all about the decisions we make, and I feel that each decision, especially at the stage in my life that I am in now (the mid 20’s stage), will uniquely shapes what my life will be like when I hit true “adulthood”… Ladies and gentlemen I have quite a ways to go before I can, with any means of confidence, say that I’m all grown up, but I do feel like I’m doing everything I can to make a smooth transition between being a young, slightly dependent girl of 25, to being a strong, independent (both financially and socially) woman. It is this desire to truly break my dependent ties that led me to make another big decision in my life.
As most of you who follow the blog know, I have been promoted in my job once again, which was a huge honor for me, and an equally huge accomplishment, considering the length of time I have been with the company. As you probably also know, I have been planning on going back to school in the fall to study occupational therapy. Recently, however, I have been experiencing a high level of anxiety which is something that has not happened to me since moving to Israel, and it took me a bit of time to truly understand why. What is the reason to feel so anxious when so many things are going so right? I have a great job, I’m about to go back to school, I have a great boyfriend, and things seem to be totally in place. Well when I really stopped to think about my situation I realized that my life is great in the “NOW”, but what is it going to be like 4 months from now? I’ve never been one to plan far in ahead, but now that I’m paying my own bills and taking care of my own life, I began to subconsciously worry about the “future” which is not something I have done much of before, and it did not make for good night sleeps.
After a week of not sleeping or eating well I decided to face what I was really worried about and try to come up with the best solution. If I stuck to my original plan of going back to school in the fall I would have to resort back to running to my family for financial support (which really killed me to think about). They have done so much for me already, and I am so excited about not having to ask for money anymore, that to go back to them supporting me was giving me much to worry about. Despite the fact that I was just promoted I would not be able to work full time once school started, and would have to cut both my hours and salary… such a shame when I’m only just starting to become financially stable. My lease is up in my apartment in January, which is a good 9 months before Stephane is done with school, meaning I will have to find a place on my own for about a year, and how to pay for that if I’m paying for school, and working less hours? Not to mention the fact that I really just don’t feel my Hebrew is where it needs to be to give me a comfortable experience in school just yet. I could do it, no doubt, but why push myself if I’m not 100% ready?
After putting it all down on paper only one decision even made the most remote amount of sense, and after talking to my father, I knew what I both wanted and needed to do. I’m only 25 and need to stop thinking that I’m late in the game. In Israel the average age of people getting their first degrees is around 25, so I certainly have time to do my 2nd and 3rd degree with no problem. I really need to build up my finances to a point where I can live well, and enjoy, without worrying about money all the time, so I have decided to postpone school 1 more year and take full advantage of my new position within my company. I will be working full time as a department manager, salary, benefits, and all the perks that come with a growing, private company. Plus I will be able to spend the next year in my own place, focusing on saving money, and my music (yes that is still happening), so that when I go back to school I will have much less to worry about. Plus by then I think I will have a great new roommate who will share my expenses thus offering me more financial freedom ;-). I think this was the best, most responsible, decision for my future, and I’m so excited to grow in my company for the next 18 months! Plus with the extra money I can do a little more traveling which I’m very excited about! Only good things to come, and much less stress and anxiety!
Aside form that I have been working hard, and getting ready for some very exciting upcoming events, including my good friend Sarah’s wedding next week!!! Plus I’m still feverishly planning fun things for my upcoming California trip 🙂 Here are also some pictures from my girlfriend’s baby shower that took place a few weeks ago! She is one of my good friends from work and I can’t wait to meet her new arrival when he comes along!
Until we meet again <3,